Sh*t My Dad Says

Funny Site of the Day -- Twitter writer Justin says "I'm 29. I live with my 74-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down sh*t that he says."

Yep, and it is, as his dad might say, accompanied by a string of expletives, a doozy. Hold on to something because these quotations are explicit -- and so popular there's a book in print and a TV comedy series in the works.

A Twitter membership is not necessary to see this sh*t.

Read: Sh*t My Dad Says

Daily Seinfeld...

Funny Site of the Day -- Simple enough: A little something from the show about nothing. Highlighted snippets of the "Seinfeld" sitcom are featured in a text format, along with screenshots of the series and linkage to the complete scripts, if you'd like to see more moments in their natural habitats.

Read: Daily Seinfeld...

Things My Date Really Said Last Night

Funny Site of the Day -- All of the shared quotations from the road to romance are supposedly true. You'll have to be judge, while scrolling through this quick-read blog, heavily dependent on contributors.

A sampling of the love:

• “Your legs sorta remind me of Jell-o… Can I touch them? Ya know, to see if they jiggle?"
  
• “I’ve never seen an elf.”
  
• “I really have to go work on my robot.”
  
• “No, you have very stout shoulders! It would be bad if you grew a demon horn.”
  
• “I haven’t slept with anyone since my girlfriend dumped me. My friends basically forced me to go out with you. No offense!”
  
• “I brought my own salt.”

As you might expect, some of the content is explicit, crass, and not suitable for work -- and, probably, dating.

Well [long, awkward pause], good night.

Read: Things My Date Really Said Last Night